I went into last night expecting to be disappointed, not because I felt Archie had more fans than David Cook, but also because season 7 of American Idol has been so crappy that it would have been poetic to have it end in tragedy too.

But alas, it did not. In fact, they really made me look foolish by giving us several gifts.

Let’s review: first, David Cook’s fun “Sharp Dressed Man” with ZZ Top. The performance itself wasn’t so great, but it was fun, which was nice. Also, good to see that ZZ Top is still alive and that Sharp Dressed Man is still a good song, and that American Idol didn’t remove all of the instrumental bits.

Then came a real gem, the second “gave me chills” moment of the season, when Brooke White delivered a gorgeous rendition of “Teach Your Children” with Graham Nash. Nash was humble and restrained, White was on-key, confident, and natural. The entire ballad was not only beautiful, but also well captured. The mix favored the harmony over the melody by just a little, just enough to highlight Brooke - after all, it was her performance - but not overdo it. All in all, it was a home run, and it was so easy to enjoy a connection with Brooke’s entirely sincere happiness at having just performed with Graham Nash.

In case anyone forgot, the best part of the night - by far, in my book - was the fantastic Ben Stiller/Jack Black/Robert Downey Jr. skit as backup singers to Gladys Knight. Jack Black can be a comic genius at times, and his overplayed backup singer was classic, especially when he went off-stage to tend to Downey and return with his pants down - inexplicably. Also, his facial expressions were key to delivery. Well done producers, well done.

Now, as you might know if you’ve read my blog, I am not a David Archuleta fan. I find him to be a singer without a niche, lacking finesse; he has the instrument, but doesn’t know how to control it. He can’t sing a melody without peppering it with runs and vocal tricks. His music is lite FM adult contemporary blandness. His interviews tank consistently as he can’t form a sentence beyond the general “It feels so cool” boringness. And his eyes scare me more than a little. There’s just no substance there to like. My opinion only. This is what bothered me so much: the judges, especially worthless Randy Jackson, with the only exception being Simon once in a while, were unable to offer a single bit of criticism on his last 5 performances. The gave him a free pass most of the season, even when he flubbed lyrics.

So imagine my surprise when during the finale, he came out and capably sang OneRepublic’s beautiful “Too Late to Apologize.” I take that back, it wasn’t just capably, it was flat out great. It was actually better and more controlled than the lead singer from OneRepublic himself! It was really a good note to end on, no pun intended.

And then came the last few moments, when the more deserving David Cook was crowned Idol and began crying. The touching “This is your fault!” he yelled at his brother.

Now, don’t get me wrong, this was still the worst season of Idol, but David Cook may be my favorite Idol yet - the only one whose record I might actually consider listening to. So I have to say, it ends on a high note, and despite my threats, I’ll probably be watching next January.

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Must the judges continue to lick David Archuleta's balls after every single song this "Aw shucks!" nerd delivers? His silky smooth voice hasn't found its niche, except perhaps as a second rate Michael Buble/Josh Groban. Archie never met a run he didn't like, I can't remember the last time I heard the dude sing a melody. Is he so "cute" and non-sexually threatening that no one dares critique his completely boring adult contemporary ballads lest he not become a marketing machine to pander to 14 year old girls? Yuck.

The reason I think this season stinks is because through the entire season, I have only had one "gave me chills" performance: David Cook's take on Lionel Ritchie's "Hello." Everything else pales in comparison.

Usually, there are songs that make me shut up and songs that can give me pause as I think "this is awesome." There were several great moments - I loved Carly's "Crazy On You," and I really dug Jason Castro's "Hallelujah." Many will rally for some of Chikeze's performance during Beatles week, but for me, I can count the "Wow, cool!" moments on one hand, and the "gave me chills" moments number just one. And while Syesha gets better and Cook solidifies his fan base, tweenage girls everyone should prepare to be let down by AI7 Idol winner David Archuletta's utterly dismal first album.

Tags: American Idol, TV, Reality TV, Rant
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EW.com is running a piece on possible changes to American Idol. American Idol is - as we speak - jumping the shark. Everyone is trying to predict why. I'm going to give you all the reasons right now.

## 1 ##
First and foremost, as Howard Stern said in his broadcast yesterday, too much of a good thing is a bad thing. Idol used to be one hour for the contest, 30 minutes for results. This season, it was 2 hours for the performances, 1 hour for results. The results shows are way too long, way too cheesy, the divisions are contrived, the call-taking is stupid, the banter is obnoxious and worthless, and the results are purposely not revealed until the last 2 minutes. In the beginning of the season, it aired thrice a week in 2 hour specials, requiring a SIX hour commitment. And most of the funny "bad" auditions are now from actors trying to be bad to get on TV, making it mostly worthless. Recently, the performance shows have slowly scaled back in time, but should just be performances. Which leads me to...

## 2##
The guest judges are mostly worthless. It used to be they were actual judges. Now they are "coaches." But those bits are worthless to me, because I'm judging the singing, not the singer, and the producers are making the contestants into people, thereby making the show a popularity contest. That means the winner is not the best singer (as evidenced by Carly's recent ouster), but rather, the one who inspires the most phone calls. And since it's mostly younger people calling and texting, the winner is really just whomever 14 year old girls like, explaining the continued success of the entirely mediocre, completely clumsy "Close-eye" Archuletta, a semi-decent singer who continues to receive over-lauded praise for completely average performances, frequent lip-licking, and lots of awkward laughing. Time to return the general themes like "the 1990s" or "country" or even "anything at all written in this decade." But instead, we get "Mariah Carey." Yuck. You do not need a special coach every week. In fact, I'd like to see a singer sing something like they might release. I don't see most guys singing Mariah Carey songs on their albums. Certainly Andrew Lloyd Webber was a fun coach, but what does being able to - or not being able to - sing his music have to do with being a deserving Idol?

## 3 ##
The judges are completely worthless, even Simon. The judges ought to offer CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Unfortunately, this is what we typically get:

Randy: "It was only a-iiight fah me, dawg. It was only a-iiight. It was pitchy in the front, but you kinda worked it out in the middle, I don't know if it was your best performance."
Paula: "Blah blah blah, I'm @#% crazy and make no sense. You look pretty. Blah blah blah."
Simon: "Dreadful."

Entirely worthless. I can't remember the last time I heard something like "you need to focus on annuciating better" or "you should try listening to the words of the song a little closer to get a better connection." How about "You project really well. I'd like to hear some power in your higher notes though"? The judges should be wholesale replaced. They all are completely and totally tired, boring, and empty. They do no good. Their only job, it appears, is to pimp the producers' predestined candidate.

## 4 ##
Stop allowing unlimited votes. Period. Limit it to 10 votes per number. Or 1 vote per household. Or 2 texts per phone. Something, anything, to prevent speed dialing tween girls from monopolizing the vote. I know, I know, they are your target, since they are the only ones dumb enough to buy your pre-packaged, vanilla, over styled, dumbed down package you'll eventually call the Idol, but you condescend to us and we lose interest. We all know when someone has been chosen by the producers to fail and when someone has been blessed by Mr. Lythgoe to succeed.

## 5 ##
Last but not least, get rid of your silly "mosh-pit." The screaming and over-abundance of teenagers just reminds me, and a large part of your audience, that we are not your target, and we should really be moving on to a new channel IINS.

Tags: American Idol, TV, Rant
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I've been sick for over a week now. A nasty bug has been going around my office, and last Friday I started developing a fever. I slept for 3 straight days. A week plus later, I'm still with fever and now bronchitis and pharyngitis and I'm on antibiotics and narcotic cough syrup, my chest and arms are sore from coughing so much, I'm a wreck. Yesterday I stayed home, and one of the habits I have is turning on the TV and then sleeping with it playing in the background.

It just so happens that I have the American Idol season 5 final still on my DVR. So, since mid-day TV generally stinks, I put that on. For those who can't place it, season 5 included Taylor Hicks and Katherine McPhee, Elliot Yamin, Chris Daughtry, Paris Bennett, Kellie Pickler, Lisa Tucker, Ace Young, Mandisa, among others. Let me tell you: these kids could sing. They put this year's crop to shame with their tight harmonies. When the women did their medley, I was seriously impressed. In retrospect, even guys who weren't even front runners still had some serious pipes.

I also decided that despite the fact that I railed on Katherine McPhee recently, she really should have won season 5. She was - or rather, is - an outstanding vocalist. She truly outsings everyone in season 7, including the very entertaining David Cook, powerhouse Carly, and even the "can't-do-no-wrong-but-ever-so-awkward-lip-licking" David "Archie" Archuletta. The power and grace she displayed in the finale (and what I recall her displaying the rest of her season -- but then, those memories are a few years old) are really of professional quality.

Take a look at the American Idol website and peruse the past seasons. I think it's a safe bet that season 5 included the most talented singers. Obviously, we'll never know what kind of musicians many were, since until this season, one wasn't allowed to use instruments. I also think it's safe to say that without the use of instruments, people like Brooke White and Jason Castro might have been voted off the island weeks ago, since they both have displayed a propsensity for massive awkwardness without an instrumental crutch.

In reviewing the seasons for the "most talented season ever," I also think it would be neat to have an American Idol "all star" bracket. If I were to compile a list, my top 12 might include Katherine McPhee, Chris Daughtry, Melinda Doolittle, Trenyce, David Cook, Kelly Clarkson, Anwar Robinson, Carrie Underwood, Paris Bennett, Elliot Yamin, Bo Bice, and Clay Aiken; I think it would be hard to leave Clay Aiken out, despite my general reaction to him - measles, a dry heave - you can't deny his killer voice.

Tags: American Idol, TV, Reality TV, Music
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Am I the only one who felt gypped by last night's American Idol? The premise of the show is that they sing on Tuesday and someone goes home on Wednesday. I understand that last night was taken over by a two hour telethon, but to lead us on all night just to screw us felt wrong. It would have been much more appropriate - and much less cruel to poor Jordin - to let us know up front the results and let the show stand on its own instead of treating the audience like a bunch of suckers.

The second to last episode of The Apprentice pulled a "Don't fire anyone" moment, and I wonder if this is a trend in reality TV - keep 'em hooked longer.

Frankly, it pissed me off. The result will likely NOT be the same next time, and whoever would have gone home last night might not go home next week. Certainly, that's possible.

I find the whole thing objectionable. This from someone who was wholeheartedly rooting for Sanjaya!

Update: I am told "gypped" is a pejorative slang form of the word Gypsy, which is the common name of the Roma. Being part Romanian - but alas, not Roma - I would like to apologize to any Gypsies who may be reading my blog and were offended by the term "gypped."

Tags: American Idol, Rant
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